Ok, so this is a perfect to get back into the fold of writing, with a lil humor on a Tuesday. This blog update comes from an evening of binge drinking and talking about what guys can and cant do! Thus the Man Law! You’ve all seen it before (or at least you should have), but for those who don’t know, or understand the rules… let Stylistocrat by R&R please explain them to you! Big Reg, this blog is dedicated to you and Brian with his brisket making a**!… sorry ladies, but this one is definately for the boys!

NO.10 – A MAN HELPS HIS FRIEND MOVE

Even though there are women in the picture, this one is pretty basic. It could be your buddy moving from his apartment into a crib or out of his mom’s basement into his 1st place. Whatever the move, observe the man law #10 that dictates you help your friend move. If you have a hatchback, clean out the trunk and start packing. If you have a truck, it’s not even a question… you know your getting called 1st!

Penalty for breaking this man code: Think you’ll be able to ask for help moving when it’s your turn? Yeah right. Better get those furniture sliders and a good belt because your rule-breaking but is on your own.

NO.9 – A MAN DOESN’T SAY WHAT HAPPENED AT THE BACHELOR PARTY…PERIOD!

Consider it a code of silence or an oath of nondisclosure. Whether it be the entertainment, the dwarf tossing or stringing a pitbull out on ecstasy, a man keeps these things to himself and especially away from the bride-to-be! Whatever happened at the party stays at the party. True story #1, Went to a wedding in Miami several years back and the best man gave the toast after way to many drinks at the open bar… It went something like “Do you remember all the strippers???” After a gasp in the room and a tug, the toast was over!

Penalty for breaking this man code: That hyper-sexed pitbull that’s tweaking in the bathroom is now in your bedroom waiting.

NO.8 – A MAN REPAYS HIS DEBTS

Classic rule #8, “Neither a borrower nor a lender be.” Sure, that sounded good when someone said it eons ago, but in today’s economy, you may have to swallow your pride and ask for help every now and then. Or, maybe you were short on cash or forgot your wallet (yeah right). If your friend loans you cash or buys the first round, you pay him back. Work to get him his money, pick up lunch next time or get that next round of brews. Just don’t let the cash or lack of it ruin a friendship.

Penalty for breaking this man code: Working your debt off as your boys man servant and house boy. And there’s that bachelor party pitbull again.

NO.7 – A MAN BUYS HIS FRIEND BEERS AFTER HE GETS DUMPED/FIRED

All the king’s horses and all the kings men code is #7…Put your boy back together again — and you should know how to do it. When your friend loses his job or his girl, you’re there to ease his pains with alcohol. You get the rounds and you pick up the tab until he feels better or at least thinks he feels better.

Penalty for breaking this man code: Karma’s a bitch. So look out cause it can always happen to you.

NO.6 – A MAN BECOMES A WINGMAN WHEN REQUIRED…

At the end of Top Gun, even Val “Iceman” Kilmer realized that Tom “Maverick” Cruise was the best wingman ever. Now it’s your turn. When you’re at the club or at a party and your friend needs you to take the ugly one so he has a shot at her smoking hot friend, you do it. Without question, you fall on the sword and are the wingman! LOL Wingman duties can also extend to driving to the party, handling the valet and running interference from the girl’s man-hating friends.

Penalty for breaking this man code: You will get grounded, shot down and denied any resemblance of a bro-code! Plus when everyone gets together, you get called out.

NO.5 – A MAN DOESN’T SCREW HIS FRIEND ON THE JOB

No Dwight Schrute here! In the workplace, man law is the real CEO or Big Boss and sees no glass ceilings. So while it may be tempting to end-run around your friend for a project or a scoop of insight in the office, you don’t do it if it’s at his expense. Job-blocking is just as bad as keeping your boy from scoring with that hottie mentioned above. Be a friend on the job as much as you’re a friend outside dude… period.

Penalty for breaking this man code: All your sexual failures and frustrations end up on the office intranet and in memos on who not to hire!

NO.4 – A MAN DOESN’T C*CK BLOCK HIS FRIEND

A foul deed and a rule that goes without saying, a man does not get in the way of his friend getting a piece. Inexcusable and downright evil, c*ck blocking is the quickest way to end a friendship and to get labeled. Don’t tell embarrassing stories, mention ex-girlfriends, start laying your own game, or do anything that will jeopardize a girl from seeing your boy in the best light possible (so he can see her in the dark). Check out the new Chad Johnson show on VH1… Just look at his friend T.O. and you’ll know WHAT NOT TO DO! Sorry T.O…. still not over what you did to the Eagles!

Penalty for breaking this man code: A scarlet letter of your own, a giant red C for “C*ckblocker.” And possibly yes” the ass-whooping”!

NO.3 – A MAN GETS THE NEXT ROUND

Much like paying back your debt, a man gets the next round. If a group of guys is out and each is picking up the drinks, dig into your pockets and join in. Hiding in the bathroom when it’s your turn is not only lame, it’s being a lil b**** . If the earlier rounds were foo-foo expensive drinks, just go with a round of domestic brew, you can’t go wrong. We all got hit before. I’m still remembering a $125.00 round tap on South beach for a round of vodka! Ouch!

Penalty for breaking this man code: You get called out at the bar because you secretly crave appletini’s over a good light beer. Every girl there will literally hear you grow a vagina! LOL

NO.2 – A MAN HAS HIS FRIENDS’ BACK

Fighting, tough times, whatever it is, the second most important man code is to get your boy’s back. No matter what it is (unless he says: “Hey, hide this from the cops”), you will be there for your buddy. If it’s a couple of fools who need correcting in the bar or if it’s listening to him sob about that skank you knew would leave him, you’re there for your bro. Think Al Cowlings… yeah OJ was “Jacked up wrong” but AC won brownie points for being there when his boy needed him… Just dont get in a White Ford Bronco.

Penalty for breaking this man code: You get labeled as “that guy” and your friends all avoid you, quickly realizing you’re a lame-ass bro.

NO.1 – A MAN DOESN’T SLEEP WITH HIS FRIEND’S EX

This is the rule of all rules, Numero Uno! No matter how hot she is or how much you always wanted to…, you, as a real man and keeper of the code, will not sleep with your friend’s ex-girlfriend, ex-wife or ex-anything. There’s no time frame until she’s available, this isn’t hunting season. Banging the ex of a buddy is like sticking a knife in his back. Be a man and fight the urge to hook up.

Penalty for breaking this man code: Your friend whose ex you’re doing? He’s now doing a woman close to you also. You call her mom. LOL

Ok….whew…did we leave any off??? I’m sure we did so guys fill it in and let us know From #11 and above!

Stay Stylistocratic!